 "FOUR BUNNIES IN HEAVEN" Four little bunnies in Heaven got together to say They did not forget Mommy on her special day But Special Delivery from Heaven is slow (Something about customs and imports you know) So they asked me to send this tiny gift Because Bunnies in Heaven, Know they are missed. *Author unknown ~My tribute to My Sweet Noah~ I suppose I should start by saying, that my feelings are still as strong today as they were in 1997 when I lost my baby, due to miscarriage. I do have 2 sweet, healthy boys, ages 9 and 14, and I will always remember the Angel that was taken from me so early. My boys know that they have a baby in Heaven, I talk about him all the time. What he might look like, what he would be doing, running after his big brothers like a tornado.*S* When I think about him... wanting to gaze into his eyes, feel his warm, soft hand in mine. Lowering my face to his hair, breathing in deeply that fantastic smell of "baby". I also found that when something like this happens, the people around you, even family members, don't want to talk about what has happened. Maybe if they don't think about it, it will go away. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. I WANTED to talk about it, share my grief and feelings. They didn't understand. Even my husband... Being a man, thought that he was doing me a favor by keeping his grief locked deep inside. I only found this out after 2 years had passed. He didn't realize that I needed him to talk to me, tell me what he was going through, share all the tears that I was shedding... equally. During the first year following the loss of my sweet Angel, there were many problems that arose at home. I fell into a deep depression, pulled further away from my family. My husband worked later and later, not wanting to confront the problems going on at home. Even through joint counseling, anti depressant drugs, things tend to fall apart. But life does go on. that is the most important thing to remember. For those women and men that have gone through this, you know that hole will always be there. But your life must go on, other wise it will eat you alive. But, if you think about it, you also know that your little Angel is somewhere safe, and they will be there when we are able to see them again....*soft smile* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ LITTLE ANGELS Little angels taken so soon from this land~ Little angels~ being guided~trusting~hand in hand. Little angels on this earth for such a short time~ Little Angel,how I wish you were here~and still mine. For unknown reasons God needed you more than I~ But even knowing this, I think of you and cry. Memories of you~sweet and pure~dwell in my heart~ And no matter what may come~they will never part. Little angel,how I hold you in my heart so near~ Now little angel, you have nothing to fear. You're Home with God~basking in His embrace. But,oh,how I wish I could see your precious face. Little angels taken so soon from this land~ Little angels~being guided~trusting~hand in hand. Little angels on this earth for such a short time~ Little angel,How I wish you were here~and still mine. Written By: Cari, for ~Cat June 3,1999 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ strength so that I may find peace and completion. I will use this strength to demand of myself and others my need to grieve completely, for this will be my first step to healing. During my time of grief I will seek guidance not only from my inner spirit but from loving persons who may offer wisdom and comfort. I need to understand that the soul as well as the physical body needs healing and to pay attention to this. I will learn to accept that the soul may never heal completely. I will learn to live not in fear and once again see beauty in my world and purpose in my existence. In spite of my new knowledge that things happen that cannot be controlled, I must call upon the places within me that tell me I do have control over much of my life and use this control to aid my healing. Let me recognize the gift in my ability to conceive and carry life however briefly. Let me take joy in my ability to love so deeply and desire to nurture a soul unbeknownst to me. Let me find healing in the belief that this soul knew my love for it and that that love helped it to pass to another place. Let me honor this short life not only with my love but in finding meaning in its existence. Let me recognize this meaning in not only my ability to survive, but in my fullest appreciation of all the moments motherhood will bring me, along with my deeper compassion and sisterhood to other women who've experienced loss. Let a part of this soul be reflected in the spirit of my future children, born or adopted, so that I may know it through them. I will listen to and trust the place in my deepest heart that tells me I will once again be reunited with this soul and will fulfill the need to hold it in my arms. I will help myself to feel comfort in the knowledge that there is a star in heaven that belongs to me. by Stacey Dinner-Levin All backgrounds and most graphics have been created by ~Cat. |